Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
