you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
