ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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