it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
