is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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