In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
