Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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