i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
