I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
