White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
