He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
