Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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