it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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