he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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