Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
