The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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