you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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