did you get engaged???
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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