sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
