his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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