Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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