We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
