fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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