You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
