Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
