I faked an abortion last night.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
