Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
