the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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