what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
