dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
