is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
