dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
