do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
