DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
