Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
