he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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