Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
