yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
