Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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