Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
