In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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