His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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