Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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