It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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