Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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