He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
