we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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