i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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