'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
