Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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