She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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