totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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