Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
