So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
