I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
