i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I am available for nakedness
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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