Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
