when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
