Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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