the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's shark week go big or go home
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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